Amela Memish Apostolovska: Mother’s plea and a birthday that became a day of inclusion

Psychologist and writer Amela Memish Apostolovska used a blunt social-media post to call out stigma, careless commentary and institutional failures that, she says, make life harder for families of children with autism.

In a post that drew wide attention, Memish Apostolovska addressed what she described as false experts and superficial online empathy.

"Enough of pseudo-experts who have read one book, then with filters, botox, kilos of powder and fake smiles dispense wisdom on social media by copying other people's texts, reworking them and publishing only for one more like… Those who have not lived autism in all its colours, who have not spent even 24 uninterrupted hours, let alone three days, in a world where every moment is a storm, fear and uncertainty — I cannot understand by what right they open their mouths," she wrote.

From private loneliness to a public day of inclusion

Memish Apostolovska — a mother of two — also pointed to three kinds of stigma: public stigma, self-stigmatization and institutional stigma, and she criticised the thin, judgmental support some families receive from people close to them.

"Autism IS NOT CURED with clichés and false empathy. Autism requires understanding. Get to work in your profession, and let parents breathe!" she concluded.

The family's story is well known locally: after a decade of isolation and birthdays marked by empty chairs, last month her son Leon turned 13 and the celebration in Skopje's City Park grew into a symbol of inclusion. Hundreds of citizens and children joined the party, and well-known performers including Tamara Todevska attended, underscoring the message that acceptance can overcome systemic barriers.

Recalling the event, Memish Apostolovska wrote: "Yesterday we celebrated one child, one great struggle, one mother's wish and a community that showed differences should not divide us but bring us closer. Leon turned 13. From yesterday on, your birthday is no longer just yours — it has become a day of inclusion!"

She says she will not stay silent about bullying among peers or institutional shortcomings, arguing that every child deserves the chance to 'fly on their own wings', even if those wings must be rebuilt many times.

Photo: press material from the event