Amela Memish Apostolovska: "You are not invited to judge my motherhood"

Emotional words from clinical psychologist and author Amela Memish Apostolovska after an inclusive birthday celebration for her son Leon in Skopje have turned into a public answer to online critics.

Reacting on social media following the event, Amela said she will not withdraw from public life or stop speaking about the challenges families face. "I can withdraw. I can say that I have achieved my success with the children, that I have overcome the toughest obstacles at a time when no one else would have offered me a hand. But that will not calm my soul. Because I have been given a mission. I am not the mother of one child. I am the mother of two children. And precisely for that, no, I will not be silent," she wrote.

Direct criticism of 'quasi‑experts' and a message to parents

Amela addressed those she described as self‑appointed commentators who distribute labels and diagnoses without knowing families' journeys. "And a special story are the so‑called 'quasi‑experts', those self‑declared intellectuals and habitual critics who hand out diplomas, verdicts and diagnoses from the warmth of their rooms, pretending to be authorities on other people's lives. People who theoretically know everything, but humanly know nothing… You are not invited to judge my motherhood. I do not prove myself before people. My greatest proof is before God, before my conscience and before my children," she wrote.

She also offered encouragement to parents facing stigma and fear: "Your child is not your shame. Your child is not your punishment. Your child is not something you must explain to the world. Your child is your child. Your path is only yours… Do not seek permission from others to be a good parent."

The post comes after a highly visible 13th birthday celebration for Leon that organizers and attendees described as an inclusive moment for the city. After a decade of solitary observances and empty chairs, hundreds of citizens, children and public figures — among them Pajak and Tamara Todevska — gathered in Skopje City Park to mark the occasion.

Amela has for years shared her family's experience in public appearances. She spoke emotionally about their life and spiritual turning points during an appearance on the talk show Kafe muabeti with host Violeta P. Periq, and has referenced a meaningful spiritual experience at the Ostrog monastery. She closed her latest message with a call to action: "Inclusion is not a photograph. It is not a hashtag. It is not a project. It is not a speech in front of cameras. Inclusion is what we do when no one is watching… The best is yet to come. For Leon. For Andrea. For every child who has ever felt they did not belong," Amela concluded.

Photo: press material from the event